my first home birth
I want to preface this blog entry by saying that all birth is holy. Whether you’ve had a hospital birth, a home birth, a natural birth, a c-section, a still-birth etc.- God was in the room. I also need to relay that this is MY OWN opinions and experience- there are no medical recommendations or advice in this blog.
I have had 3 different “birth experiences”. My first 2 babies were born in the hospital and my 3rd was born at home.
All of my 3 pregnancies were relatively easy peasy although I did have one “weird thing” for each one:
With my first, I got warts all over 1 leg that disappeared within days after giving birth.
With my second, my stomach skin was so sensitive and itchy that wearing clothes made me cringe- this was my largest baby so maybe the skin was just ultra stretched? Lol
And the third, well, I’ll spare you the details on that one.
No nausea or heartburn, worked as a nurse all the way up until day of delivery- no big deal.
Baby #1
During my first pregnancy, I was immersed in the “ways of the world”. Although I considered the idea of home birth, hospital-birth just seemed safer as I had no idea what to expect. I also had multiple earfuls of people telling me that home birth was stupid and irresponsible. During this pregnancy I had the standard amount of ultrasounds, bloodwork, swabs, etc. The only “birth plan” I had was to labor at home for as long as possible and then try to birth unmedicated. When it came time to deliver, at 40 weeks 2 days, I did labor at home for as long as possible before we tackled the hour long drive to the hospital (a miserable time). When we arrived, I was 9cm dilated and admitted to labor and delivery. The provider broke my water and then I pushed for 3 exhausting hours. I pushed when I was told, listening to the providers instead of my body. When I finally had the baby (9lbs 8oz), she was immediately cut at the umbilical cord and taken to the “warmer” to be assessed by the NICU team as there was meconium (baby stool) in the birthing canal. Like many things, meconium in the birthing canal CAN cause issues but generally doesn’t. After that, my daughter was finally placed in my arms but I hardly knew she was there- I was exhausted from the events that just took place plus I was still bleeding quite a bit due to a piece of retained placenta. I felt “blacked out”. Have you ever had a piece of placenta mechanically removed from you uterus immediately after birthing a baby with no pain medication? It is NOT for the weak- a pain like no other. I received 2 bags of Pitocin to “help close the uterus” and stitches from tearing. Instead of admiring my daughter’s beautiful little face, I was in a haze, just thanking GOD that it was over.
Baby #2
Baby number 2 was relatively similar to baby #1 except FASTER. Due to the larger size of baby #1, I was required to have SO many ultrasounds (10? 12?) to check size. Knowing what I know now, I would have NEVER let this happen- but I complied because “they know best” and I didn’t like to be difficult. My provider was worried that this baby would be “too large”. I remember telling my husband that I would be fighting them tooth and nail if they tried to induce me. Anyways, when the day came at 39 weeks- I labored at home until the afternoon, miserable drive to the hospital, arrived at “don’t start pushing” centimeters, was rushed to labor & delivery, water broken by provider, just a few pushes (because I knew HOW to push this time- call it experience), out comes baby- 9lbs 15oz of perfection. Due to my history of heavier bleeding during the first birth, I was given an intramuscular injection of Pitocin, “just in case”, as well as stitches for tearing (again). After a few hours we were ready to head home BUT hospital policy states you must stay in the hospital for 24hrs after baby is born. This is when I dove head first into educating myself on foods, medicine, western practices, etc. and didn’t look back for a second.
Baby #3
Now that I had done this birth thing unmedicated (twice)- I was ready to attempt the home birth. I took to social media to find a birthing center/midwifery local to me. One particular place came HIGHLY recommended by everyone. I was excited! To my disappointment, before speaking a single word to me about my health or history, they requested a nonrefundable $1000 downpayment before they would even look my way. I asked “don’t you need more information about me to see if I’m even a candidate?”- they reminded me that “spots are filling up fast and we can’t guarantee your place without the deposit”. I hung up. How was this place so highly recommended? I felt like they were using scare-tactics and only cared about money. I struggled with the decision- I wanted the best in-home care for my baby and I but this felt wrong from the start. I ultimately ended up calling a different birthing center/midwifery and it was the BEST decision. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT PEOPLE. A few months later I actually connected with a friend who used highly recommended midwifery #1 and was deeply dissatisfied.
Prenatal care at the birthing center was much different than the standard OBGYN- more hands-off than I ever could have imagined. I loved it! I did have 1 confirmation ultrasound and 1 anatomy scan HOWEVER, the option to decline both were clearly laid out without judgement. I had minimal bloodwork, no vaginal exams or sweeps at all- this felt better, this felt natural. I wasn’t being poked and prodded every week like with my original provider. I was “in-tune” with my body. Even the glucose test was stellar- I was served APPLE JUICE in a glass instead of that fake drink in a plastic bottle that is KNOWN to be terrible for you. My other kids got to play IN THEIR PLAYROOM during appointments- a game changer! I’ll get personal with you because if you’ve read this far- you might just be as “crazy” as me. Remember when I said I one “weird thing” for each pregnancy? Well this one was yeast infections. Literally have never had one in my life but for some reason- this pregnancy said “hold my kombucha”. When I brought this information to my midwife, you know what she did? Garlic. She reminded me that garlic is nature’s antibiotic. No medications, no chemical filled washes, just garlic. I loved her for this.
During my appointments, the midwife would listen to baby with a FETAL STETHOSCOPE (no doppler over here), feel for positioning, and educate me on the different aspects and possibilities of birthing a baby at home. I was given a checklist and put together a “birth box”- filled with things that may be needed. To this day, my “birth box” lives in my closet in case it’s ever needed again.
August 14th, 2025- around 42 weeks (induction NEVER mentioned)- my body knew the time was right. I woke up in the morning feeling completely normal. Around early afternoon, I started to have about 1 contraction every hour- they were mild and spaced VERY far apart. Throughout the day I ran some errands with my girls, ate lunch with my mom, etc.- a normal day. At 4-5pm I took my oldest daughter to dance class- had a few contractions there. Got smoothies, came back home around 6pm. I remember thinking to myself- “I am going to have this baby tonight” (although I thought it would likely be in the early hours of the morning). SIKE. When I got home, my contractions really started to get more intense and more frequent- I became hyper-focused on putting the girls to bed although it was only like 6:20pm. Around 6:30pm my husband came home. He works a relatively dirty job and likes to shower before he hugs the girls- so he was in the shower. Yes, he knew I was in labor but for some reason I REALLY like to downplay how much pain I am in- so I was like “oh yeah babe, take a shower, no worries, I got this”. I, in fact, did not “got this”. I fed the girls dinner, gave them a bath, and went into their room to get them ready for bed. At this point I called my husband (who was only a few rooms over) ON THE PHONE and was like “YO I NEED HELP”- he comes to my rescue and together we get the girls (who were definitely not going to sleep at 6:45pm) in bed.
“What do you need me to do?” asks my sweet husband. “Start inflating the birthing pool”, I instruct. While he’s inflating the birth pool, I start making up the bed. For anyone who doesn’t know (because I didn’t)- when you have a home birth, it’s common to remove everything from the bed except for the fitted bottom sheet. Then, you place a shower curtain liner covered by a “garbage” fitted sheet on top. This makes it so that after birth, everything can be contained and thrown away- leaving you in a clean bed! Once I got the bed made, I called the midwife to ask that she head over. No sooner did I hang up the phone, my water broke. This had never happened to me before- my water had always been broken FOR me right before pushing. I mildly panic- “MY WATER BROKE” I yell to my husband who is trying to speed set-up a pool in the kitchen. I had one single contraction post-water breaking, while standing at the side of the bed. My only thought at this point was: “I need to climb up onto this bed or else this baby is falling to the floor”. It took every ounce of strength I had to climb up onto the bed. “Just forget the pool and get in here!!!!” I yell to my poor husband. While still kneeling from climbing up onto the bed, a second contraction- her head is out (I could hear her making noise at this point, which was SO cool and sweet). I whisper to my husband- “we just have to wait for another contraction”. My husband will tell you that I looked very calm and collected during this whole experience but I’m telling you- I felt paralyzed, I could barely speak (hence the whispering). My body was EJECTING this baby and I wasn’t going to stop it- she was NOT waiting for the midwife to arrive. After another contraction, she was born- I scooped her up off the bed. It was around 7pm. I held her close while sitting in the middle of the bed and we just waited, in shock, for the midwife to arrive.
This experience of birthing a baby in GOD’S TIME was amazing: it felt empowering and primal. While I never felt like I had a “terrible traumatic hospital experience”, I do wholeheartedly believe that it was rushed- I was told to push earlier than my body was ready for. According to my quick Google search, Fetal Rejection Reflex is “a, often rapid involuntary, and instinctive, second-stage labor experience where the body automatically expels the fetus through intense, uncontrollable contractions. It is a natural, primal response often occurring when a mother feels safe and undisturbed, allowing for a surge of adrenaline and oxytocin that drives the fetus out without conscious pushing”. This is exactly what I experienced.
After-care is drastically different when you birth at home. My newest daughter stayed attached to her placenta until the cord stopped pulsing- about 90 minutes. This allows for every drop of vital nutrient-rich blood to make it into her tiny precious body. My baby was not taken from me at all until my husband held her. As for my “history of bleeding” that had always required extra Pitocin- an herbal remedy did the job effortlessly. No stitches.
After about 2 hours, my husband helped weigh our new baby girl, measure her, and listen to her breathing/heartbeat. They made sure that I had snacks, drink, and was always covered in warm blankets. The midwife gave us a “placenta tour” and told us all about baby’s “first home” (the amniotic sac). Our first two babies (who still weren’t sleeping) came to meet their new baby sister. The midwife helped me to shower, cleaned up the room, and did laundry. By 11pm, the midwife was gone and we were left peacefully in our home with our new little addition.
Birthing at home is unmatched, I would choose it again and again. Although let me be clear- I am not against the hospital. I believe that it is healthy to do your own research, question motives, and to avoid intervention when possible. HOWEVER- I also believe that there is absolutely a place for emergency medicine (get this though- birth is usually NOT an emergency).